Welcome to Weekend Musings: I Propose a New Phonetic Alphabet

elcome to Weekend Musings! This is the part of the blog where I get to ponder various topics with potentially no relationship to anything else on the site.

For example: the phonetic alphabet. Bet you didn’t see that one coming.

The phonetic alphabet was at one point a subject of much discussion between my sister and I. She knows it because she went to West Point.

I now know it because it seemed like something an American should just know, like the names of all 50 states in alphabetic order. (Thank you, third grade choir).

Now that I know my Alpha-Beta-Charlies, I find myself using them when spelling things on the phone with customer service people. And don’t I just feel all special-ops saying things like “delta” and “echo.” A fun diversion from my otherwise staid lifestyle.

But…wouldn’t it be even better if we mixed it up a bit and made a new phonetic alphabet? And then actually used it?

How about this?

(Preface: most of these are literally what first came to mind when I was trying to think of fun words…I’m sure those inkblot people would have a field day with this).

A-Abracadabra (oh, don’t you just want to say this ALL the time now??)

B-Buckaroo (See above).

C-Cha-Cha (I want to say this with a straight face to someone real soon).

D-Ducky (I think this is because I have babies).

E-Elevensies (The best meal of the day after second breakfast).

F-Fascia (A salute to the kitty we dissected in high school biology; I personally think this is one of the grossest words ever).

G-Gnome (Ha! Love those silent letters. So helpful for spelling over the phone).

H-Hobbit (Oh, come on. You knew it was coming).

I-Ichabod (I admit, this was not my own. I was stuck and asked my friend Jen. She is fantastic).

J-Jugular (My throat hurts just writing this…)

K-Knead (Again, love me some silent letters).

L-Lemming (A nod to the hours of computer games I played when I was ten).

M-Moist (In honor of Hubs! This is one of his least favorite words EVER).

N-Noodling (Legal in only 5 states).

O-Onamonapia (Meow! Bang! Boom!)

P-Pedro (It’s been too long since I’ve seen Napoleon Dynamite).

Q-Qumran (Not to get all geography teacher on you, but we just got back from Israel and I was stuck on Q).

R-Roundabout (To contrast “moist,” this is one of Ryan’s favorite things. Something about efficiency and traffic flow).

S-Snipe (Yes, there was a time when I was, unfortunately, ignorant of snipes. Laugh it up).

T-Triage (Played a key role in the amount of time I had to sit in the ER in college).

U-Unicorn (Because mythical animals are just better).

V-Vacuous (A fantastic word).

W-Wigwam (So fun to say. But, I admit, not off the top of my head; I got stuck and pulled out the dictionary on this one).

X-Xenofuse (A nod to fellow Lanier High School ESL teachers–our team name).

Y-Yehaw (You wish you were from Texas!)

Z-Zapatos (Probably one of the most fun Spanish words to say besides “por supuesto” and “Esperanza”).

Ok, for you brave souls, a challenge: use these when next you have to spell a word to an unsuspecting listener. Then, report back with the results.